A Year Ago... And Then Today

Hmm... So I just realized I started this lil' bloggy a year ago.

And then I realized I hadn't actually posted in six months. -.-

Don't fear - I have been writing drafts of things to capture precious library moments during the last half a year to share for mocking.

It turns out my falling off the radar was due to a massive sleep deprivation. (Oooops). And while I'm all well and good (or at least, on the path to well and good) the whole situation has me pondering why the human body, in all it's amazing fail-safe awesomeness completely falters under a lack of sleep. Yay for the survival instinct to you know, not die when your airways close up - but not much else by way of letting one know they aren't sleeping. It took years for me to get to this point that I was so messed up that it became somewhat obvious (obvious in hindsight, that is - during, I just couldn't figure out why I couldn't think straight and everything was foggy and muted) - and even then - while some part of me suspected - it wasn't until a family vacation and a visit from a friend in a two month span that I finally decided to get checked for Sleep Apnea. Hindsight is a terrible thing - and kinda makes me angry when I look back at all the doctors I saw for the oddities that had been plaguing me the last few years, only to have no one even suspect sleep deprivation, despite my biggest complaint being "sheer exhaustion all the time." The truth is, even if they asked me if I was sleeping, I would have said yes, as I did lay down, pass out and struggle to get up every morning. Maybe it was because it was just SO obvious that it was invisible. You know, akin to the logic of: What an odd bump in the rug. Perhaps it was overshampooed. Perhaps it needs to be stretched. Perhaps it has been walked on too much. Perhaps I left a heavy chair on it too long and indented around it. When really, there is just something under the rug causing the bump. You know, the most obvious answer that isn't obvious at all because we ironically smart (ie: stupid) humans overthink everything.

Alright. I have kvetched. I shake my fist at the past and happily look forward to the continual getting better and the future. (And hope all that know me will forgive me for being a reclusive damped down idiot the last few years, and especially more recently.)