Mighty Librarian! Foiled by the Stapler...

Alright. I'm a librarian. I love books. And paper. And, yes, I've also had a perverse love of office supplies since before my walking days. It doesn't surprise me when the computers around me act demonically possessed and gnome infested - I'm used to computers and electronics mocking me and being difficult. But I have yet to figure out why the staplers at my current place of employment hate me with such loathing. It never fails. The stapler is out of staples. I put more in, I shut it. Some times, harshly. Other times, gingerly. And always - ALWAYS - it gets jammed. I must take it to a co-worker to rescue me the blasted uncooperative stapler. Perhaps I shouldn't have joked all these years about the staple conspiracy theory... I can deal with uppity patrons, really weird questions, and find anything (oftentimes with a little help from my friends...) but the damned stapler foils me. I'd declare war with the staplers, but I fear for my life.