Armademia

A Slight Shift in Focus

2009-10-01T23:00:00.000-07:00

I've decided that I should keep my library snark to it's own blog, and my personal stuff to it's own blog. For those who are enjoying the snark: The Snarkening continues.

I am still trying to figure out the kinks in getting it to function properly.... >.>

The Greatest Invention Ever

2009-07-07T21:29:00.001-07:00

I have discovered the greatest invention EVER!

PILL POCKETS.

Ingenious! I tell you!

No more stalking Pooka around the house, trying in vain to get her to swallow the darn pill and not just spit it up mockingly. Or pouncing on her when she's asleep (daft as she is, she caught on to that after the second day...) Muahahahaha!

Peeve of the Day: "I Disbelieve Your Reality!"

2009-06-11T23:38:00.001-07:00

There are those very special people who come to the information desk, ask a question, and then choose to just disbelieve what we tell them.

Which, I suppose, they have every right to. My issue is when they just keep insisting that we are incorrect or wrong, over and over when we show them source after source of why we have the answer we have. Take for instance this encounter:

"I was told I can take a GRE test at Zee University"
"Well, let me check the locations that are GRE testing sites.... it looks like Zee University is not on that list. There are other local venues to take the test."
"I was told that Zee University offers this test."
"Well, according to the GRE offical testing website, they are not listed as a venue for the test."
"I would like to take the GRE test at Zee University, will you please let me know when the next test will be there?"
"It does not list any future testing dates for that particular venue"
"My teacher at ourlocalcollege told me that I could take my test at Zee University...."

Impressive isn't it? The blatant disregard to the reality of what is. The asking of the same question over and over as if the answer would somehow miraculously change. (I do believe that is the definition of insanity, no?) And given that Zee University is a good distance away, I haven't a clue why they were so hung-up on taking the test there and not someplace more local.

A Year Ago... And Then Today

2009-06-03T23:38:00.000-07:00

Hmm... So I just realized I started this lil' bloggy a year ago.

And then I realized I hadn't actually posted in six months. -.-

Don't fear - I have been writing drafts of things to capture precious library moments during the last half a year to share for mocking.

It turns out my falling off the radar was due to a massive sleep deprivation. (Oooops). And while I'm all well and good (or at least, on the path to well and good) the whole situation has me pondering why the human body, in all it's amazing fail-safe awesomeness completely falters under a lack of sleep. Yay for the survival instinct to you know, not die when your airways close up - but not much else by way of letting one know they aren't sleeping. It took years for me to get to this point that I was so messed up that it became somewhat obvious (obvious in hindsight, that is - during, I just couldn't figure out why I couldn't think straight and everything was foggy and muted) - and even then - while some part of me suspected - it wasn't until a family vacation and a visit from a friend in a two month span that I finally decided to get checked for Sleep Apnea. Hindsight is a terrible thing - and kinda makes me angry when I look back at all the doctors I saw for the oddities that had been plaguing me the last few years, only to have no one even suspect sleep deprivation, despite my biggest complaint being "sheer exhaustion all the time." The truth is, even if they asked me if I was sleeping, I would have said yes, as I did lay down, pass out and struggle to get up every morning. Maybe it was because it was just SO obvious that it was invisible. You know, akin to the logic of: What an odd bump in the rug. Perhaps it was overshampooed. Perhaps it needs to be stretched. Perhaps it has been walked on too much. Perhaps I left a heavy chair on it too long and indented around it. When really, there is just something under the rug causing the bump. You know, the most obvious answer that isn't obvious at all because we ironically smart (ie: stupid) humans overthink everything.

Alright. I have kvetched. I shake my fist at the past and happily look forward to the continual getting better and the future. (And hope all that know me will forgive me for being a reclusive damped down idiot the last few years, and especially more recently.)

First the Staplers, Now the Pens!

2008-12-03T19:19:00.000-08:00

What is a girl to do???

I went through five, count it - FIVE - pens this morning. -.- All of them ending up in the trash due to malfunction. I am wary of a full blow office supply revolt...

MLIS: Must Like Insulting Strangers

2008-10-23T21:27:00.000-07:00

I must confess to you, I nearly cried today. Well, I did, once I got home. Apparently I had to get a Masters Degree to become a librarian. So I could work on the reference desk helping the public. This is the majority of what I do:

- Let me show you how to log onto our Internet computers
- Ah, your having trouble printing, I can help...
- The copier is foiling you, yes, it thinks it's smarter than it really is...
- Sure, I can change your password, do you have picture I.D.?
- You'd like a guess pass for our computers, alright...
- Of course I can print you out map quest directions, where are your starting and ending locations?
- You need a printout of the housing list, ok...
- Ah, so you want to buy something online, well...
- I'm sorry, I don't handle personal information to help people pay their bills online...
- Yes, I can check out a study room to you
- Sir, please set your phone to silent
- It's one person per computer in the lab, please...
- Pick up books/newspapers/magazines
- I can put that book on hold for you...
- I'll request that book from another library for you and fill out this form...

The number of actual "reference" questions I get is rather appallingly low. I'm not saying being "on desk" and doing these things is below me, it isn't. And I'm not saying that they aren't important. They are. But I went to school, got student loans, to get a MASTERS degree - to basically do customer service / troubleshoot equipment / user error with over half of my work hours. And that is not even including all the people we deal with that suck up our time because they are just lonely or mentally unwell. Throw in the special afternoon desk shifts when school gets out (MLIS: Must love irritating students) - and all the crowd control & moose herding... I weep. I weep because I'm being pulled away from what I love (collection development/ programming) that I was trained to do at my salary level - to do something anyone without a MLIS could be doing, if it weren't for the way the job descriptions were written.

*deep sigh* It could be worse. Honestly, I'm just grateful I'm not at one of those libraries where the librarians are out "on desk" almost all of the time. I'd go postal.

Librarians know that the world of libraries, libraries, and how they function is changing. I went to a workshop, I was encouraged even, to attend one about the Futures of Libraries. However, when we (all the people I went with) came back - almost every grand idea, spark of the future, and creatively ingenious re-working of the framework was refuted. They listened to it, some daydreamed, but when our new library opened - well... I can't honestly say a single thing any of us took out of that workshop has been implemented or given serious consideration. Now that, my friends, is the most depressing part. Great ideas, change and the future is great - but only when leaders are willing to embrace it. I'm watching myself and many of the amazing people I work with become crispy, crusty, burnt out husks of what they are capable of because they are being drained by covering things on basic levels of bare functioning and kept away from the things they love to do.

MLIS: Many Losing Inspiration, Sadly.

Encyclopedia: The Dead Tomes

2008-10-07T18:55:00.000-07:00

Encyclopedias. The basic reference that almost always has an answer to kids homework. However, if you hand kids the encyclopedia.... they sorta look at it with a frown. You can hand it to them, with exactly what they are looking for... and they will stare glare at it, it's tiny print, and walk away. Even if it is the ONLY item you have with a print source for what they are looking for. Ideally, in today's world, there is a single book on every subject they might be searching. Heaven forbid you have to look in a tome of "Biomes of the World" to discover and learn about the arctic tundra. If you do not have a book titled "Arctic Tundra" - in many a child's mind - you simply do not have a book.

It makes me ponder about our brains. They way we search for and seek information. Or how we, as a society, seem to simply have STOPPED searching for and looking for information. If it isn't at the top of the pile in big red flashing letters, it does not exist. And whatever is there at the top in big red flashing letters is obviously the truth, isn't it? And we wonder why the world is the way it is. Be afraid, be truly afraid.

I swore to myself I'd never be the kind of librarian that shoves books down people's throats. I am currently re-evaluating this.

These thoughts have been brought to you by the Encyclopedia, a large multi-volume tome of vast information that is only good for making your library look full and catch dust. Just ignore the fact that it has peer reviewed information and is generally more accurate than your first google hit.

And now, a little snark...

2008-09-09T18:46:00.001-07:00

*quickly brushes stapler foil-ment embarrassment under the rug*

And now, a little snark. So I'm sitting on the reference desk, happily weeding History (which isn't actually my area, but one of the kind librarians I work with indulges my weeding obsession and lets me leave her notes about the books I feel need to go to that great big library in the sky) when a regular patron comes up to me and asks if the study room on the same side of the building as us is open.

"I'm sorry, it isn't. There are three other rooms on the other side of the library..."
"Well, isn't there another quiet room, farther down on this side?"
"Yes, but that room is reserved only for small groups."
"You couldn't just let me in? I'd be happy to leave if a small group needs to use it..."

*sigh*.... *deep sigh*.... Really, people. Look, it's all fine and good to bend the rules once in a while. And you know, if he had asked at the beginning of my shift when the library was pretty quiet and dead, I might have even done it. But it was now towards the end of my shift, school had just let and all those "small groups" were all over the library doing homework (in a surprisingly civilized library manner, actually). Yes, I'm a bit of a hard ass too - but you tell one person you'll make an exception to the rule and 1. have them ask every day for a week, well beyond the point of "exception", and 2. Someone else overheard and expects the same kind of "exception." It's not that we are evil, it's just that being nice tends to be an invitation to be run over. So I said,

"I'm sorry, that room is -only- for small study groups." Begrudgingly, he asks for the far end room on the other side of the library. I log him in and get the key and start walking to the study room to open it for him.

"So, when this group here leaves (this would be the group that was sitting behind him where he had been working at a table in the open all day), would you mind coming and getting me?"

*headdesk* Really, you actually sit here every day - and you watch us work, at the table that is RIGHT NEXT to the reference desk - and you STILL think I have the time to pay enough attention during the busy hour to whether or not someone is sitting in a particular spot and then just letting you know when they have vacated? Do I look like a personal space reserver?!?

Mighty Librarian! Foiled by the Stapler...

2008-09-09T18:36:00.000-07:00

Alright. I'm a librarian. I love books. And paper. And, yes, I've also had a perverse love of office supplies since before my walking days. It doesn't surprise me when the computers around me act demonically possessed and gnome infested - I'm used to computers and electronics mocking me and being difficult. But I have yet to figure out why the staplers at my current place of employment hate me with such loathing. It never fails. The stapler is out of staples. I put more in, I shut it. Some times, harshly. Other times, gingerly. And always - ALWAYS - it gets jammed. I must take it to a co-worker to rescue me the blasted uncooperative stapler. Perhaps I shouldn't have joked all these years about the staple conspiracy theory... I can deal with uppity patrons, really weird questions, and find anything (oftentimes with a little help from my friends...) but the damned stapler foils me. I'd declare war with the staplers, but I fear for my life.

Never a Dull Day...

2008-08-14T00:34:00.000-07:00

Today the plumbing blew. I think. I'm not actually sure what happened. Earlier in the day I was getting a headache, and had heard about a sewage spill in one of the shops that leases part of the building, and knew the loud grindy (yes, I know that too is not a word) noises were from whatever work people were trying to fix it. No biggie.

And then I left the children's librarian's office after nearly three hours of fiendish plotting for the next few months to have my nose assaulted. Apparently, we were now leaking sewage. It took about a half hour for the entire downstairs to be offensive. We cleared out the floor. And then we noticed that there were wet spots in the stacks. And under the library assistant's desk...

And here I thought I'd have a nice quiet day to get some work done.

The Snark Returns!

2008-08-08T22:37:00.001-07:00

So, I'm reporting this a bit late, as it happened when I went down to Comicon, which if you look at the time-stamp, was a couple of weeks ago. But regardless. I was flying down to San Diego and meeting my sister there. I packed two of the water bottles I like from the company I like, and went off to the airport. I got to the security gate, and they stopped my bag. Hmm. They took out my water bottles and told me I couldn't take them with me. I, of course, blinked. EH? "You can take them back out that way and drink them right now if you'd like," the guard told me. As I had a plane to catch, and didn't want to drink that much water right before getting on, I told him I'd pass.

To be honest, when I told my sister all this, she rolled her eyes and asked when the hell the last time I flew was. Well, the last time I flew, they said "take a sip," wait 30 seconds and see if you drop dead. IF not, you and your water bottle are free to go through.

I was caught off guard, and I was thirsty. Peeved, mostly because the waste of the water bottles I had purchased just for this trip being unceremoniously dumped into the trash bin behind him, I asked. "Well, why is that?" I tried to be nice. But I was really seething pissed. I knew he was just the messenger, and after he gave me some sort of explanation, I let it go. I took a deep breath, put my shoes back on, picked up my bag and walked around the corner.

To see - water bottles for sale. Which only riled me up further. As I walked to the far end of the airport to my gate, seeing all sorts of different places in the airport selling water. There is something seriously wrong with this. I of course, refused on principle to buy any, despite my thirst. My thoughts on the matter are two-fold.

1. Someone should sue them for having a monopoly (The San Diego airport had the same "brand".) Or whatever the right term equivalent would be.

2. I think it would be just funny, if someone snuck into their processing plant and refilled the water bottles with vinegar.

sigh No, I will NOT repeat that!

2008-07-10T10:50:00.000-07:00

A nice quiet day at the library, for which I was very grateful. After having a fever the last couple days, (YARGH), it was nice to have a gentle day at the library. However, that doesn't' mean there wasn't at least one shining star to earn my ilk.

*Phone Rings*
"Hello, reference desk"
"Hello reference, I would like to know a summary of the movie XYZ"
"Do you know what year XYZ was from?"
"1966"
"Alright, let me look it up"
*I type it in and open a window for the IMDB result and a wikipedia one, of course, I survey the summary on the IMDB one first, but, with a single sentence it seemed skimpy. And I recognized the voice, one of -those- patrons (regular) that has to ask the required number of exactly 20 questions, as if calling reference was always a game with set rules, so I read the intro on the Wikipedia page aloud to the patron on the phone*
(Insert uniform movie synopsis here that states clearly it is a western and stars Bob the Habidasher)
"So.... it is ....about westerns?"
"Yes"
"And it stars Bob the Habidasher?"
"Uhm, yes"
"And it also ...."
"Yes"
"Alright, could you read it again?"

(Note: Ire-o-meter rising steadily)
So I read the intro again. Then, the patron wanted to know more.... *SIGH* So I said there was more and began to read the first paragraph of the plot summary. Rinse and repeat ire building conversation.

"Would you please read that again, slowly?"
(Note: Ire-o-meter bubbling over)
"Actually sir, I would be happy to print this out for you to read at your leisure, if you would like"
"Well, could you email it to me?"
.... I pause, wondering the logistics of it, but before I can reach a conclusion...
"Never mind, that wouldn't be very practical. I'll just call back later after I've gotten to a computer and checked my email."
(Note: Ire-o-meter bursting and switching rapidly to anger, frustration and oh my god, I don't want to inflict this on any other poor librarian....)
"So you do have access to a computer?"
"Yes" (AHHHHHH dammit, don't ask me to do something you could do!!!)
"Well, you could pull up this web page yourself. I just searched XYZ on Wikipedia"
"Wikipedia?"
"Yes."
"Alright, I'll try that, thank you."

A Brief Snark Break

2008-07-07T17:43:00.000-07:00

Even I am totally disarmed by utterly cute and adorable things.

For Instance:

I accidentally stumbled across this anime, "Chi's Sweet Home" on crunchyroll while watching some episodes of Vampire Knight and Saiunkoku Monogatori. I dare you to watch it (episodes are about three minutes each), and tell me it's not adorable. In my view of the world, it just might be the most adorable anime ever. It ranks right up there with Yotsuba& (which, as far as I know, is only a manga as of yet). The only thing that pains me is the thought that if it ever gets licensed here in the US and they try to make an English dub, they would ruin it. But regardless. It is all my restraint not to fly to Japan and get the manga, even though I don't speak Japanese, just so I can thoroughly drown myself in it's cuteness.

The Case Against: Mr. FOY

2008-06-30T18:56:00.000-07:00

I know you've already heard me rant about Mr. FOY. Now, you may think that I exaggerate a bit about his lack of intelligence and memory. Well, here is a true example, and sheer and utter proof of his idiocy.

Mr. FOY called wanting to know the number of Steve Woz of the Apple II fame. Mr. FOY frequently calls wanting the contact information for important people in many industries, all to tell them about his miraculous discoveries that will improve the human life span. He himself, he believes, is evidence of this. He feels he is a young man at a prime age still. Mr. FOY, however, in the rest of the world's reality - is about 80 something, nearly bald, his stringy hair is badly dyed, and then other times, badly bleached. He looks like his age, which is 80 something, and sadly, No man, no matter his age, should EVER wear short shorts... I'm not saying these things to be mean. It's just the honest truth. But, I am digressing from the point.

We of course, start to look up the contact information for Mr. FOY. The best I can find is a mailing address from a 1994 book entitled "Contact any Celebrity"... which I am disturbed to admit how handy it comes in, especially when dealing with Mr. FOY. I have written down on a piece of scratch paper "Steve WOZ, Apple, Needs Contact Info 555 - 1234." This is a note to myself writing down what Mr. FOY needs, and Mr. FOY's own number to call him back. I called him back and when he didn't answer, left a message on his answering machine of the address I had found. Voila. Well, when I dashed in back to grab something at my desk, my co-worker ended up answering a call from him. I happened to walk out to hear her saying, "Oh, yes, well, it looks like we have his phone number here, and it is 555-1234." She plesantly finished the call and hung up. I think blinked and then informed her that the number she had just given Mr. FOY was actually his own phone number. She of course felt horrified for a moment, but no one could blame her - I'd probably have thought the same thing if I'd found that note too. We both ended up giggling, and we waited for him to call back upset.

It didn't really surprise me that he didn't catch it right away. But, it did surprise me when he called back five minutes later, and my co-worker answered the phone, expecting to hear him rant and yell, only to have him comment how interesting it was that Steve Woz had the same area code. And interestingly enough, the same phone number suffix. That must mean that Steve Woz lives near him! How exciting! Could she try to find his personal home address?

Peeve of the Day: Judging a Book by it's Cover

2008-06-27T19:11:00.001-07:00

Honestly, I didn't mean to start this out and have the snark flying out as if we were whipping through space in warp speed. Really. I really have gone six months with nothing to snark about. Regardless, the snark continues.

We've all heard the saying, "Never judge a book by it's cover." And no, you shouldn't. We all do it anyway. I'll be the first to admit it. In some cases, this is a good thing. Like, when you are the teen librarian looking at a faded out Technicolor paperback book cover that no living soul between the ages of 12 & 20 is going to want to touch it. Hell, I don't even want to touch it, and I'm older than that. So... yes, there is something to be said for book covers, our judgments, and their selling points. Which is their whole purpose - to sell the book.

You know - the cover looks interesting, so you investigate what the book is about, then you either take it with you or not. Then there's a whole new dimension to book cover judging. The kind of judging that involves a lot of assuming and making up your own interpretation of the artwork. Take for example, one of the covers from the Black Cat manga series. (I tried to find a link but I can't find a copy of the exact image online to link to) . The head of the technical services department came up to me concerned, and to notify me that they had blacked out the number 13 on the cover, which is written in roman numerals, on the upper breastbone of the main character. I looked at her a bit perplexed, not understanding what the big deal was (I'm a bit naive).

"13 is a gang number"
"Oh..."
"Well, and TS2 pointed out that this looks like a gang member, and this a pregnant girl... and we weren't sure about this one here...."
"Ahhh. Actually, the number 13 in this story is used as the number for bad luck, it was branded into his skin as part of his joining a secret assassins organization. No, she's isn't pregnant. She's another bounty hunter in the story, so is the third guy."

And so here is another lesson about librarians. We do not judge the books we select, other than for their literary merit. I have bought books that I personally find reprehensible, and helped people find information I personally found in bad taste. We are trained in library school to uphold equity of access, no matter what for, to not censor materials, just because they offend us personally, and ultimately, to reflect and build a collection that is representative of our community as a whole. Even the ugly bits. For example: I once had to shatter the naive reality of many of my co-workers who were aghast that I had bought an urban teen paperback fiction title that had a graphic sex scene in it, right near the beginning no less. And even worse - the main character was a prostitute and had no remorse for her lifestyle (and at the end of the book kills the pimp). To which I replied, "There are teenage prostitutes in our community (which I know for a fact, I had a friend that worked in a group home with many of them), and as a librarian, it is my job to make sure that everyone within this community can find a book that they can relate to. " And really, outside of the murder thing, self empowerment isn't a bad message. I may be naive - but hopefully I'll never be an ostrich librarian.

Peeve of the Day: People Giving Up Too Easy

2008-06-25T23:36:00.000-07:00

Now, this peeve is two-fold. It means the people who are too lazy and want the answer three days ago and can't find it immediately themselves, so they come ask us, and then have the gall to be annoyed that we also have to take the time to look for it. It's called -research- for a reason.

And then there are simply the people who... just... give up too easy. I had a call today.

Lady: I'm doing a fund raiser in the area and I'm wondering what the biggest church is. Do you happen to (magically) know which one it is?
Me: Uhm... No. I do not. However, I can look.
Lady: So you don't know which church is the biggest church?
Me: Not off the top of my head, No.
*Co-worker notices the conversation and starts making arm motions at me - wondering if they mean physically the largest, or with the most people who attend it*
Lady: So do you live in Somewhere, Someplace, or what? How can you not know which church is the biggest?
Me: Actually, I don't live here where I work. I live a couple towns over. *Having finally deciphered arm gestures from my co-worker* Are you looking for the largest church in the sense of the largest physical building, or the largest amount of people attending?
Lady: So you don't live there?
Me: No. So are you looking for the church that is physically the largest? Or... *click, the line goes dead in the middle of my sentence*

It never ceases to startle me when people just randomly hang up on me. More so, when I'm in the middle of TRYING to help them. I hate patrons who get so hung up on my initial answer admitting I'm not an omniscient god and therefore don't bother listening to me continue to try to help them figure out the answer. For all you idiots out there that think librarians know everything? Your stupid. We don't. We just know how to find it and places to try to look for it. That is, if your willing to give us enough information to continue to do so.

Legions of Oz'ian Scarecrows...

2008-06-24T19:18:00.000-07:00

Ah... joy. I really had hoped I wouldn't have quite this much fodder so early on. Oh well. :P

Today's theme was... oz'ian scarecrows. The plethora of people simply missing... brains. Or Marbles... or maybe simply just the *spark* of brain power needed to get through the day.

"So you were able to log into the computer?"
"No."
But, as Mr. FOY (Fountain of Youth) had already explained to me that he had opened the browser, I am perplexed. Now, I will state a disclaimer here, with any OTHER patron - I'd have gotten up and walked across the building to the computer lab. Mr. FOY, however, has proven time and time (and time and time and time) again, that you can explain everything in simplistic idiot English, and he still does not comprehend, understand, or ever remember what you taught him, the very next day. Regardless, I could ask the same question
"So you -were- able to log onto the computer?"
"Yes. I typed in myisp.com and it didn't go anywhere"....
"Well, on our computers, you need to type in the entire address *writes down on scratch paper* http://www.myisp.com/ into the address bar at the top of the browser. " (And yes, sadly, stupid public internet browser, you do have to type the whole thing in. Dam you IE for making life hard for those of us who do not use your buggy product and never learned the proper way to type in an full address in the address bar.) I get a blank stare.
"But I've never had to do that before"....
At which time my co-worker chimed in with "There's always a first time..." Which, with Mr. FOY, it will beonce again tomorrow when it is all once again, totally forgotten.

So then a co-worker, a page at our library came up and asked for map directions to a business in the next town over. Let me first say, I <3 all my co-workers. But really, the fact that this particular co-worker has asked for this very same thing, THREE times now (granted, over a span of 8 months) .... I wonder why it's so hard to .... not lose the directions for next time. Maybe it's just a by-product of the modern day and age where if it's not useful right now, it should be tossed and forgotten. Gah.

And then, another patron...
Ask Question.
No.
Ask Same Question.
Yes.
Rephrase Question again.
No.
Dumb down question to most simplistic idiot form.
Yes.
ARGH. Bloody Hell people - this isn't class. I'm not your teacher expecting you to answer something because I thought you were chatting in the back of the classroom with your friend. I'm trying to help. I'm at a loss when I've rephrased so many times and dumbed it down so much even I can't figure out what I'm trying to ask anymore. Which perpetuates the "Let me see it, take your laptop, magically fix it, and you never learn a dam thing for next time" mentality. *sigh*

Why do we need school libraries? So I can spend my time being a reference librarian, not a help idiots skate through life without ever learning anything librarian.

Peeve of the Day: "I ran out of computer time, so could you...."

2008-06-23T18:54:00.001-07:00

Every library card holder gets 1 hour (which is really more like 1.5 with the time extenders) of Internet time a day. So, I find it utterly baffling when people come up to me and say "I've used up all my time already today but I couldn't find this "spiffy" thing that I need to know." And I type it into Google, with straight up, no boolean operators or other tricks as simply -spiffy thing- and WHAM! First hit, all the information they need from wikipedia. For the love of all things shiny and sparkly (yes, I know it isn't a real word) - don't waste my time with your laziness. I would much rather help the people who really can't use a computer find what they need than do your dam work for you. You are in college, right? And in this case, yes. This person was asking about something they wanted to know for their college class. My faith in modern education continues to flounder.

I will say here, there are many librarians that are anti-wikipedia, and that as an openly editable source, yes, it's reliability is always in question. NO, I do not think it is a better source than finding actual information in some psychology book (that was what the spiffy thing was about) - but when dealing with certain types of people, they don't want you to find the truly valuable information, they just want the answer... yesterday. So, wikipedia is great for that.

Theme of the Day: Lazy Idiots

2008-06-17T20:35:00.000-07:00

For those of you who have never worked in public service - it always seems that the days have themes... you get one particular brand of idiot, and then another, and another, and another... until by the time you get off the reference desk your ready to stab someone in the eyeballs.

My first joyous encounter today came in the form of a phone call from Mr. TooLazyToUseThePhoneBookHimself. Who called, per the usual, to have the librarian (in this case, me) look up the phone number and mailing addresses of various publications. Other days, it's cities and governmental institutions. Now normally, this is all fine and good. We are happy giving librarians who generally don't mind looking up things for patrons. What sets Mr. TooLazyToUseThePhoneBookHimself apart from every one else is twofold. First - he does this weekly. Ranging from 2-10 requests for contact informations. Oftentimes, asking more than one librarian when he doesn't get his answer immediately. Second - and for me, this is the killer - he then usually shows up in the library himself, hops on the internet and looks up more. For the love of all things shiny and cuddly - JUST DO IT YOURSELF FROM THE START AND DON"T WASTE MY TIME!!!

Mr. Too: I'd like the contact information for "this" and "that".
Me: Sure, it'll be a moment, my computer is rather slow today. (They promise that we'll get more bandwidth, but as I also found out today, the director FIRED our tech person so the city could take over... like hell it's going to happen now....) Is "that-y" the correct publication?
Mr. Too: Well, was there anything under "that" in the right state?
Me: No, Only "that-y". (If your original search string had had a data result, I would have told you. I'm not evil and trying to keep you from the information....) Do you have a pen and paper? Ok. The phone number is....the address is....
Mr. Too: Did they list a 800 number?
Me: No, I'm sorry they did not.
Mr. Too: Are you sure? Can you look again?

ME, ready to kill. I know that in the new modern age of libraries and computers, patrons want to be in the drivers seat and tell you how to do your job, but the whole reason they asked us in the first place was because they couldn't do it themselves. Or, in Mr. TooLazyToUseThePhoneBookHimself's case... he's just too dam lazy and would rather waste the time of the librarians. NO WE DO NOT JUST SIT THERE AND READ ALL DAY, DAMMIT. And don't ask me to look again just because the answer does not suit your needs. It is what it is.

Happy moment of the time on desk today: Avoided questions from TeacherFoiledByPDFs.

And then... oh yes, it was quite a day today - the best bit of the day. The phone rings. All my restraint not to just scream at whoever is on the other end (it was a really busy day, despite my normal hatred of phones) when I noticed the caller ID was from a city phone number. Crap. Better play nice. I noticed that it flashed "(Three Letters I can't Remember) INTERN". Oh, this was gonna be fun.

The "Intern" wanted a "this" book. A book by an author, who we shall call, "InternsAuthor." As names can be very tricky to spell, I usually make a scribbly note, and ask for the title. Things are usually easier to find by the title. "There is no title"..... 0.0 QUE? I verified, there was no title. Fortunately for me, this was just a case of the usual "anything by this author" request. (Phew). We had nothing. I told him thus. He wondered if the neighboring city had it. I checked, and discovered the only place that any of "InternsAuthor"'s books could be found were in Universities and Colleges. I told the Intern this. He was rather perplexed. So he asked me to do a search string for a banal list of words that any person who knows anything about boolean searching would say, "that isn't going to work." It's like searching for "red blue green yellow" and entirely missing the point of finding the rainbow. Regardless, I did what I could modifying the search string to try to pull up something. I did. Again, only in universities. Obviously, what he was looking for is something so technically frightening that only professors who like to torture young minds would be interested in it. Now, it is my own fault for thinking I was dealing with anyone of some intelligence, when he pulled the "I work for the City" card on me. My response was "Yes, I noticed that when you first called from the Caller ID." Honestly, the sound of his phone receiver going cockeyed as he turned to look at his phone, was priceless. What planet is he from, I wonder? Tech Intern, who doesn't realize that in our large scale building there is Caller ID? And yet he wants some sort of massively technical jargon, and cannot understand why the PUBLIC library does not have it? And the suggestion of going to a University (there is one, in either direction, North or South, 30/15 mins away, not to mention 3 colleges in the area as well) is simply out of the question? Mind boggling. In all honesty, we could get the book from him from one of the Universities, it takes a couple weeks, but we could swing it. Unfortunately, he was so stunned by the fact we didn't just have copies of it laying around I never got a chance to explain this before he hung up.

So in summary: 1. Don't ask the librarian to do something you can do yourself. We have true idiots to deal with and wasting our time with you is annoying. 2. Don't tell the librarian how to do their job. They were tortured for years to earn their Masters just to be able to answer your questions, and your lack of faith in our abilities is disturbing. 3. WE DO NOT SIT AROUND AND READ ALL DAY. 4. Give the librarians a break. Even when we know, hands down that your question is impossible to answer, we'll try anyway. Just to humor you. 5. If you do not know the difference between a public and academic library, I suggest you go back to your technical jargon planet and figure it out.

It's About Time...

2008-06-12T21:14:00.000-07:00

Really, I know, it's about time I started this blog up. I've talked about it for a couple years (scary that, eh?) and finally decided I will. Someone has to got to set the record straight about what librarians really do. So, to start things off on the right foot, a little librarian snark.

If people ever try to convince me that young male teens are anything but wild animals, I will mock them. I will mock them, and point to our elevator. In our new building. Which we just opened a month ago. That now, has been peed in twice, by such lovely young gentlemen of our community.

Only wild animals whip out their wangs and mark their territory on large slabs of metal. In a small enclosed space. Where it can be smelt for weeks on end. By every human being that cannot walk up the stairs. I am simultaneously aghast, and highly amused by the sheer absurdity of it.

The number #1 reason I became a librarian? Never a Dull Day.